CONSULTANT DIRECTOR | MEMBER UAE SUPERBRANDS COUNCIL | HBR ADVISORY COUNCIL | CHARTER MEMBER TIE DUBAI.
CONSULTANT DIRECTOR | MEMBER UAE SUPERBRANDS COUNCIL | HBR ADVISORY COUNCIL | CHARTER MEMBER TIE DUBAI
Life sometimes hits many of us like a ton of bricks.
And when that happens, there is an even bigger problem than the bricks piled on top of us. That bigger problem is the negative stories that continue to recur in our head when the cup which once overflowed now seems empty.
This is the story of three friends, two of whom are sisters, Katie and Gina, and Angie who is their younger sister-in-law. Over the years, their friendship has grown into a strong bond. Despite many issues that each of them faced in their respective existence, life was chugging along reasonably well. There was even a phase which could be considered like a dream run.
Then things suddenly took a turn and started to fall apart for each of them. There are several pillars that hold a person’s life together – home, health, job, finances, relationships and a sense of self-worth. Over a period of time, quite a few of these pillars started developing cracks in their lives.
Circumstances reached a stage where they were compelled to be reminded of a famous quote – “We know the Universe does not give us anything we cannot handle. We just wish the Universe did not trust us so much”.
Even though each of them had grown up in a deeply ingrained spiritual family background, it still took them quite some time to make peace with the new reality, but they slowly started looking at what was the greater good in their respective situations.
We have all had such eureka moments where things that appeared one way suddenly begin to show themselves in a new light.
Each of the friends decided to re-focus their thoughts and energies on what pursuits mattered the most to them. Katie, an ex-banker with great attention to detail, focused on her strength at managing finances and rebuilding her network of friends and relatives. Gina, a lifelong educationist with major leg problems, focused on her long-standing desire to travel and see places. Angie, from an air-force family background, having lived abroad for most of her life, and having been a great home-maker, re-focused on her family, her friendships and her ageing parents.
But the most important area that each of them individually and collectively focused on is to invest huge amounts of their time, energy and some funds in giving back to those whose problems seem bigger than theirs.
They have made peace with the fact that the life that each has been living may not have been the life they chose. But it is the life each has been given. And strong ladies that they are, they have chosen to live it with utmost grace and dignity. Their deep-rooted spirituality has acted as a very potent balm.
Which brings us to this ultimate question. The question is not if each of us will encounter life’s challenges. The question is when. The only three certainties in life are – a) change b) uncertainty and upheaval, and c) our finite existence. This is how the script of every life runs. Portions and proportions may vary.
Stephen Hawking, at the age of 21, was diagnosed with an early onset slow-progressing form of motor neurone disease that completely paralyzed him. With his disabilities, he lived to become a professor at the university of Cambridge, England, and continued to live to the age of 76, during which time he published many articles on physics and the big bang theory.
Christopher Reeve, synonymous with his portrayal of superman, suffered a spinal cord injury and was a quadriplegic for the rest of his life.
Ghanim Al Muftah, the famous Qatari icon who shared stage with Morgan Freeman at the opening of the Qatar World Cup, is a twin brother born with Caudal Regression Syndrome, a rare disorder that impairs the development of the lower spine.
John Chambers, the CEO of Cisco, overcame his dyslexia with an optimistic attitude.
What makes all of them shun negativity and keep plugging away day after day.
In the final analysis, it’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.
How we deal with the full catastrophe of life when it happens is a powerful choice that is available to us. A majority tend to disintegrate.
There is a story in the Bhagavad Gita in which the warrior Arjuna looks across the battlefield and refuses to fight. His friends and cousins are in the other army, and he does not wish to battle them. And Krishna tells him that, in his role as warrior, he needs to battle and do so with honor. To someone like me, the message is clear – all life situations need to be engaged in, not avoided.
A big thank you to the common folk like Angie, Katie and Gina who have learnt to engage in the current realities of their lives. And while initially, they repeatedly experienced the feeling of sinking and swallowing water, they slowly mastered how to ride the waves. Their cups did run empty for a while, but they figured out how to fill them with their hearts desires, and they continue to live in gratitude.
They have surely made me revisit this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson - "The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."
