THE DUAL QUALITIES OF ETHICS AND NOT KNOWING NIRANJAN GIDWANI.

 

CONSULTANT DIRECTOR | BOARD MEMBER SSGMUAE | MEMBER UAE SUPERBRANDS COUNCIL | HBR ADVISORY COUNCIL | CHARTER MEMBER TIE DUBAI

There were two friends Andrew and Charles, who had not met for a long time. Andrew was living in Kenya and Charles in Dubai. As it normally happens, in today’s fast paced world of hustle and bustle, Andrew and Charles lost touch for several years. They were periodically in touch online, and on one of his trips to North America, Andrew decided to route his ticket via the lovely, vibrant city of Dubai. 

Both of them were extremely excited to be meeting up after several decades. That day finally arrived. They went for a nice late-morning brunch followed by several cups of their favorite coffee.  They kept conversing about the important things that had happened in their lives. They talked about their families, their joys and struggles, the books they were reading, and the current assignments they were handling. The two had an extremely pleasant time filled with mutual connection and care. The bonding was so good that both felt as though they had met just a short while ago.

But as their meeting drew to a close, Andrew clean bowled Charles with this fast-paced ball:

“Do you really know what you are looking for from here onwards? You are perceived to be overly generous and good, and that is a quality that is not necessarily considered as strong and aggressive in the world of business. Remember the saying that good people end up last”.

Charles was surprised and taken aback. 

Although he felt very comfortable with not having all the answers at any given time in life, it seemed to Charles that in his friend’s eyes, he was too goody-good, and that his value-based approach to existence would not be accepted in the modern-day corporate world. While for his part, Charles wanted to genuinely live by an honest set of values, walk his talk most of the time, and remain open to life without permanently sealing his life plan.

Surely, having successfully run three large corporate entities outside his country of birth, while taking his measured time to create a slow but laboriously successful career path was enough proof for his friend Andrew that living by an honest set of values had repeatedly worked for Charles, though it may have taken him a few years longer.

Later, as Charles reflected on their meeting, he wondered why living disciplined, living ethically, speaking honestly where required, and accepting a fair amount of uncertainty and un-knowing was frequently looked upon so negatively.

As much as we love knowing, we as a human race have great difficulty with tolerating uncertainty.

Imagine a person coming home late in the evening, suddenly realizing they have lost their keys. The person starts to search for his keys right under the nearest and brightest streetlight. Another person comes along and offers to help. They search for a little while, but the keys are still not found. The helper asks,

“Did you lose them here?”

“No,” says the key’s owner, “but the light is much better here.”

Many of us are doing just that.  

In life as well as at work, we are happy to collect the data on the basis of what we know, which might seem an acceptable choice, given the circumstances and the lack of better alternatives. However, at times, in life, we all can benefit from dipping our toes into the unknown because only through experience can we figure out what we want. But, most importantly, through the un-knowing, we can figure out who we actually wish to be and connect to our deeper values and meaning.

Over time, we all realize that the ability to control outcomes is an illusion. This is one of the fundamental lessons and skills that makes for great and successful entrepreneurs. You don’t really know how things will turn out. And this is OK. In fact, most of the times it’s pretty awesome.

The advantage of not knowing means we tend to have less anxiety. We are not tied to just one bet or option. Admitting to ourselves that we don’t know raises our level of ethics and honesty. Ethics and honesty are the most important links because if we’re going to act in any situation in life, we should do so with open eyes and a clear assessment of the situation.

Honesty with customers, readers, clients, employees, family is important too. Admit we don’t know. They will trust us more, because not only are we telling them we don’t know, we are clearly OK with that. We don’t know what will happen, but whatever happens, we will deal with it. That’s powerful.

We are not consumed by the horrible fear that we are doing the wrong thing, because we learn that there is never a perfectly “right thing” to do. Honesty also means not being manipulative as a habit. Sadly, humans are the only race who understand the art of manipulation long before they understand the consequences of that manipulation.

Finally, un-knowing or not knowing is not the same as ignorance. They are two completely different things. Un-knowing is recognizing a world flush with wonderment and puzzle and mystery. And only a high level of ethics and honesty can make us know the difference.